10 Safety Rules I Wish Every First-Timer Would Read

Rule 1: Even With Verification, Do Your Own Sanity Check

We verify every provider on this site. That covers about 95% of the fraud risk. But once in a while a legit provider ends up with photos she also uses on Instagram, and I've seen scammers on other sites lift those same pics. So — reverse image search takes 10 seconds. Google Lens, TinEye, take your pick. If her photos show up under three different names on ten other sites, back away. Trust but verify. That's the whole vibe.

Rule 2: Zero Money Before the Meet. Zero.

I want to tattoo this on people. No deposits. No verification fees. No Cash App to prove you're serious. No gift cards. No crypto. No wire transfers. Nothing. If somebody is asking for money before you're in the same room, they're scamming you and I don't care how convincing the excuse is. I've heard them all — "my last client stiffed me," "manager needs it to hold the room," "just $50 shows me you're real." All scams. Every one.

Real providers get paid in cash, in person, at the start of the meet. That is the universal standard. Anybody deviating from that is either scamming or brand new enough to not know the industry norms, and either way you should pass. I had a friend in Phoenix send $150 in Amazon gift cards for a "hold" back in 2020. Never saw her, obviously. Amazon wouldn't reverse it. That $150 is still funding some scammer's Netflix.

Rule 3: Read the Ad. Then Read it Again.

Every safety incident I've ever heard about between two well-meaning adults started with somebody not reading the ad. She said no outcalls, he showed up at his hotel confused why she's not coming. She listed a specific rate structure, he tried to renegotiate at the door. She said no rough stuff, he pushed anyway. All of that is avoided by just reading. The walkthrough hammers this too.

Rule 4: Too-Low Rate = Trap

Providers in a city talk to each other. Rates in each market cluster around a range. If you're in Chicago and the going hourly rate for a given tier is, say, $300-$450, and somebody's ad says $120, that ad is not what it looks like. Either it's a stolen photo scam, or it's a bait-and-switch where the rate at the door is triple, or it's an outright setup by someone who isn't a provider at all. Trust the market pricing. Weird underpricing is a red flag, not a bargain.

Rule 5: Screening Goes Both Ways

Real professional providers screen their clients. Yes, even after we've verified them on our side. She might ask for your first name, occupation, maybe a LinkedIn profile, sometimes a reference from another provider. This is not weird. This is her staying alive. Do not take offense. Guys who refuse to screen out of "privacy" concerns are the guys most providers flag as sketchy.

A provider I've known for eight years in the DC market told me she screens harder now than she did five years ago. Not because the market got worse — because she's smarter about who she books. The difference between "wanted to feel her out via a phone call first" and "got put in a bad situation" is one phone call.

Rule 6: Tell One Person Where You're Going

Send a trusted person — friend, sibling, whoever — the address and a check-in time. If they don't hear from you by X, they text or call. This applies whether you're a client or a provider. It's not paranoid, it's what any adult meeting a stranger in a private location should do. I have a friend who calls his brother at the start and end of every meet, without fail. Takes 10 seconds. Peace of mind is underrated.

Rule 7: Cash. Actual Cash. In an Envelope.

Get the money before you leave the house. Get the exact amount. Put it in a plain envelope. Set it in plain sight when she walks in — on the nightstand, on the desk, wherever. Don't hand it to her (weird), don't count it out in front of her (weirder). She'll pick it up in the first two minutes and set it down again. That's the entire ritual and it's the same in every city.

Do not try to Venmo. Do not ask if she takes cards. Do not offer to Zelle. Cash is the currency for very boring reasons: it doesn't leave a paper trail linking anyone to anything, and it can't be reversed after the fact.

Rule 8: The Rate Is the Rate

Renegotiating at the door is the number one way to get your meet canceled and your name shared with other providers in the city. Yes, there are shared bad-client lists. Yes, they get updated in real time on Signal groups. A guy tries to knock $50 off at the door in Miami on Tuesday and by Wednesday morning half the providers in the city know his name and phone number. Don't be that guy.

Same thing goes for asking for stuff outside her menu. If it's not in her ad, don't ask. Especially not at the door. It's insulting. Providers have every right to end the meet and keep the money, and honestly, at that point, they should.

Rule 9: How She Communicates Tells You Everything

Pay attention to how the pre-meet communication feels. Real providers respond in a professional register. They answer your specific questions. They confirm details clearly. Warning signs: she can't answer basic questions about her ad, she keeps changing the address or the time, her English suddenly gets much worse than her ad text, she's pushing you toward paying differently than what you'd expect. Any one of those is a "no thanks, moving on."

Same signal in reverse. If you're sending 500-word life stories, we can tell you're going to be a lot in person. Keep pre-meet messages tight. Confirm what needs confirming, done. The first-time guide has the message templates.

Rule 10: Your Gut Is Usually Right

This one sounds like a fortune cookie until you've been in the industry long enough to have seen the pattern a hundred times. Every long-time client I know has one story about the one time they ignored their gut. Just one story. Because after that one time, they never made the same mistake again.

If something feels off — the address keeps changing, the vibes on the phone are weird, she's oddly pushy about a specific thing, the location is suddenly a hotel she never mentioned before — cancel. You will never once regret canceling a meet that felt off. Every provider I know says the exact same thing about her side. When it doesn't feel right, walk away, no explanation owed.

The Extra Stuff, Bullet Form

• Never take photos. Not of her, not of the room, not of yourself. This is not negotiable.
• Don't try to find her real name. Don't Google image search her face. Don't stalk her IG.
• Don't show up drunk. She can absolutely turn you away.
• Don't ghost after confirming. Cancel with at least an hour's notice like a functioning adult.
• Don't ask her personal questions about her real life. It's rude and it's not why you're there.
• Shower before the meet. I promise this shouldn't need to be on the list.

The Bottom Line

Skip The Games is safer than the alternatives specifically because we verify. That takes the highest-frequency risk — fake listings and bait scams — mostly off the table. The rest of these rules are about being an adult who reads instructions and treats other people like people. Do that and you'll never have a bad experience.

Want the wider view on safety across the whole space? The safe casual dating guide zooms out past a single meet.